Adam Lanza's Mother:
From the title we know a few things things: Liza is a liar, and the lowest form of attention whore utilizing (within hours) one of the most tragic shootings in this nation's history to get a few blog hits under the guise of "helping" to draw attention to mental health concerns. You cannot expect myself or any rational human being to believe Liza didn't know her misleading title was meant to suck in every google search being done on that fateful day trying to gather real facts and "juicy gossip" of this tragedy. Congrats for the increased blog hits, you godless whore.
Moving on to the content of this essay of filth:
Friday’s horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.
Ok, a decent setup to what might be a good article, nothing here to gripe about yet.
While every family's story of mental illness is different, and we may never know the whole of the Lanzas' story, tales like this one need to be heard -- and families who live them deserve our help.
I'm of the mindset that no one "deserves" help from others in most capacities, but again nothing wrong to this point.
Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
Oh Liza, what a wacky story this might be. Thank you for changing to a comedic tone for such a light hearted subject. Ha ha, the wrong pants you say?! How funny! Please go on.
“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”
“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”
“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”
Ah, let's start here shall we? Your 13 year old son just called you a stupid bitch. In my childhood, this would have resulted with getting my face busted in about .3 seconds. But as I'm sure Liza got from her Dr. Spock pamphlets, she tried logic and reasoning with the 13 year old boy. She is quite the harsh matriarch though is she not? Clearly we can see a small peak into the discipline tactics that have surely left young Michael with such a balanced and healthy approach to discussing disagreements with his mother. No electronics FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, holy shit, why not book a trip to Guantanamo you heartless whore!? He was just expressing himself!
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
Probably because you have demonstrated zero capacity for parenting thus far and you probably deep down understand that he knows you're a shitty parent too.
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
Now your 13 year old is threatening you, himself, and apparently his siblings with a knife. Now let's give you some benefit of the doubt that your son is truly mentally ill, apparently violently so, but you've chosen to leave him in a situation where other young children are at risk and you clearly have little to no control over him. Amazing parenting on display once again Liza.
That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.
Liza here is apparently trying to convey (with her description of the officers and paramedic) that her 13 year old is so fiesty and powerful that 4 grown men were required to hold him down. Again, this is the same child she doesn't mind being around her other young children and herself. If Michael is truly this dangerous he has no business in the home, period. Yes you love him. Yes he is your son. Every vicious murderer, rapist, and other criminal has parents too, and many of them with parents that loved them very much too. I'm not allowing "but I love him" to justify putting your two other children (that you should probably love as much, I'm assuming) in danger because you want him to have a "normal" life. Now how exactly, without medication or "beds available" did they get him to "calm down nicely" in the ER? Oh, I'm guessing he got bored or was ready to go play with his electronics. Oh and don't forget, here's a pill! That'll make him learn how to behave in just a quick 50 milligrams of "attention" Why do any parenting when they make a pill for it, am I right?
We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.
In other words, you can't find anything actually wrong with him, and you've tried doping him up with every drug known to man and wonder why he acts a little strange? You're so smart Liza, and have I mentioned what an incredible parent you are? Let's go back to the only one you've mentioned by name (Though we can only imagine the other drug cocktails you've infused your son with at every chance) Zyprexa: Known side effects: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0045200/#DDIC602547.side_effects_section
To pick out a few highlights: "Loss of appetite" "Increased Appetite" "Loss of interest or pleasure" "Change in personality" "Trouble with concentrating" Sounds like Liza has made yet another informed and educated decision on the health of her beloved son.
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.
Don't worry about that IQ Liza, I'm sure if you keep doping him up you can have him completely zombified before long. I'm starting to wonder if jealousy is a root cause of Liza's troubles, as from this example I would put young Michael about 20 years ahead of Liza on intelligence.
Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.
And there's the money shot, huh Liza? That's what you're looking for, someone else to toss your son onto because you can't be bothered to actually do some parenting. A free public babysitter as "The district's MOST RESTRICTIVE BEHAVIORAL PROGRAM" That's how that young mind can be sure to flourish, how smart and wise Liza is. Nothing says "Expand your mind" like a nazi concentration camp surrounded by other fucked up kids of fucked up parents. Let's bundle all of the miscreants and derelicts into one "program" so they can learn that surrounding yourselves with such great influence in these developing teen years. I wish my mom had sent me to serial killed summer camp when I was put into gifted classes in 7th grade too!
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”
Typical child, seriously. You meant o tell me you got a fake apology with the only goal of getting his stuff back? How unique and baffling!
“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”
That's right you staunch disciplinarian, 24 full hours! You stick to your guns, you stupid bitch...
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”
What does "calculated rage" look like exactly in a 13 year old? Oh my, a child threatened extreme response for wanting his toys back, never seen that before...next thing you'l tell me this crazy unique child will starve himself to death rather than eat his cauliflower!
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”
“You know where we are going,” I replied.
“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”
Michael here is probably correct. I cannot imagine being a 13 year old boy, shoved from doctor to doctor, pilled up from who knows what age, being taken to another facility where people in lab coats will ask him about his feelings and medicate him. Michael probably doesn't like flying over the cuckoo nest. But I will at least give Liza credit for actually sticking to a promised punishment, of course if I promised to lobotomize my child the next time they asked "are we there yet" on a car ride, I shouldn't get a lot of parenting points for following through.
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”
Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.
So wait a minute, 4 grown "burly" men are required to bring him now but you are "Still stronger than him, for now" which is it Liza? Is he a roving Juggernaut of destruction which no man can contain or is he a 13 year old boy, prone to temper tantrums from shitty parenting and what seems to be lack of a father figure (could be wrong but I don't think Dad ever gets mentioned here)
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork -- “Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…”
At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.
You ignorant, lying, propaganda spreading, agenda pushing whore of a shitty parent. That is 100% false that "No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing" unless she is referring to raising her child for her, in which case she is correct. What Liza is really saying here is that her "freelance career" is probably similar to all of those "freelance artists" I went to school with that doodle things and post them on facebook trying to sympathy sell them to friends for $10 here and there while collecting some form of government handout to get by on. She is implying she gave up some dream career or took some sort of pay cut, but I'm betting that's far from the case.
For days, my son insisted that I was lying -- that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”
So far, in one public account by your own hands, you've been caught lying multiple times...he's probably quite correct. You just wanted a few days free with another "restrictive program of babysitting"
By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.
There are plenty of options, one that springs to mind quickly is...and I know this is crazy so please put the Zyprexa away as I won't be taking it, DO SOME GOD DAMNED PARENTING.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.
According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.
Why did the color of skin come up here? What possible reason does it even have to be mentioned? What does gender or skin color have to do with mental health? By these provided numbers we have 61 mass murders (who knows the parameters they used, but I'll accept that number for the sake of argument) over the last 30 years. In the country of 300+ million that means 0.000020333333333333334% of the population has acted on mass murder. Clearly this is a massive problem that we should consider a massive government involvement at high costs to look into.
When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”
I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise -- in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.
Well Liza, gee, I wonder if a higher number of incarcerations of the mentally ill is because "Mentally ill" is a "valid" defense used in court to avoid higher punishments. Nah, let's not let logic get in the way of our agenda. Now the other part of this comment that's amazing to me: "The Chaotic environment exacerbates Michael's sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn't deal with the underlying pathology" You mean...maybe like pumping him full of mental meds and taking him to a mental hospital every time he acts up? Brilliant parenting work again, Supermom.
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill -- Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.
Because that's what you do with people who are too crazy to be trusted not to kill everyone the first time someone doesn't put whole milk in their cereal instead of 2%, dumb fuck. You lock them away from society where they cannot harm you. It does suck to send a 13 year old to jail, what sucks more is that a bright and high IQ'd boy had to have such a shitty parent that his mind has been drug-fucked into a psychotic frenzy beyond repair and having that child let loose on society because "Mommy loves him too much!"
No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”
There's the agenda again, it's "broken healthcare system" What the fuck is broken about our system. The system you've already blatantly lied about earlier in this same essay. You've managed to get your son pumped full psychotic meds for years now from your description, that doesn't sound like denied treatment to me...though for his sake I wish it had been. The "stigma" on mental health is because so many people, like yourself, use it as a crutch to excuse not having to do anything difficult in raising your child. People get sad and start popping anti depressants instead of dealing with their issue and overcoming it, they bury it under a fog of Zoloft, Prozac, and Ritalin.
I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.
Nah, why not prescribe the entire country a few dozen pills...i'm sure that's a better way to heal.
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.
Agreed, because the more people like Liza we have regurgitating their ignorance on the internet the higher the odds are that more people will believe it as fact.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One final note, for anyone who may think I'm "attacking" Liza and poor "Michael", this is what happens when you lay your situation out as an argument for something. Arguments are meant to be debated. You don't get a free pass on debate because "That's my son! Who are you to judge my parenting! You haven't been in my shoes! Etc. Etc.
It's the ultimate defense mechanism. It's ok to exploit your story for YOUR argument and for YOUR agenda, but if I start tearing your argument apart like a vicious dingo with an Australian baby then I'm "attacking your personal life"
Don't use your personal life as propaganda if you want it immune to criticism. Especially when you can't form a coherent argument to save your life.
Here's hoping Michael survives your shitty parenting and can become a productive member of society, though it's probably too late for that.
Michael probably summed it up better than most, displaying his advanced IQ:
Liza Long: You're a stupid bitch.
Michael probably summed it up better than most, displaying his advanced IQ:
Liza Long: You're a stupid bitch.
